


As Long As You're Mine

by Angels_in_the_assbutt



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Child Abuse, F/F, Mentions of Underage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4748357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angels_in_the_assbutt/pseuds/Angels_in_the_assbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Carmilla smiled and brought her hand up to move Laura's hair out of her face. Laura inhaled sharply when the brunette left her hand resting against the smaller girl's face. The blonde lifted her hand to grab Carmilla's, intertwining their fingers.<br/>"Laura..."<br/>"You can kiss me," Laura whispered, "if you want to.'"<br/>Title from "As Long As You're Mine" from "Wicked."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there. I'm not quite sure what this is, the idea popped into my head and I couldn't get it out, so this was writen. Yup.  
> Trigger Warning: child abuse (it's not explicit though), slight underage (Carm is underage by a few months)  
> Cool, enjoy.

Mircalla sighed, walking into her first grade class room. _Why do I even have to go? Mother knows the other kids don't like me._ She looked around the room for her name, sitting in her seat after finding it.

"Hi, I'm Ell." The dirty-blonde girl next to her said, holding out her hand.

"And I don't care."

Ell's face scrunched up in annoyance, "Fine, grumpy pants. I was just trying to be nice."

Mircalla groaned, "Why? None of the other kids want to talk to me."

Ell smiled, "We'll maybe I'm not like the other kids."

Mircalla eyed her carefully before a smile grew on her own face.

• • •

"Mircalla, Ell is here!" Mircalla's mother yelled from downstairs. Mircalla jumped up and ran down the stairs, eager to see her best friend of two years.

"Hey." Ell smiled at her friend.

"Hey." The brunette returned the smile.

"Well, girls, I'm off to work. I trust that you won't make me call Mrs. Morgan to come watch you." Mrs. Karnstein asked.

"Mom, I'm eight years old now. I'm not a baby, so I don't need a babysitter. 'Sides, It's only for a few hours until Ell's mom gets back."

Her mother laughed, "I'll see you, be good." She kissed both girls on the cheek before making her way to the car.

"So...whatcha wanna play?" Ell asked.

"Hmm...how about we play house?"

Ell smiled, "Okay, but you have to be the daddy this time." The girls walked up the stairs to Mircalla's room. Mircalla pouted as she pulled her baby dolls out of the toybox.

"Why do I have to be the daddy? You're older."

"Yeah, but you're taller."

"Why don't we both be mommies?" Mircalla asked, shyly.

Ell smiled at her, "Okay."

• • •

Mircalla sat in her room, staring at the ceiling. She had just received news that her mother was gone. She knew she had been sick, but she didn't think she would be gone so soon. They only found out a few months ago. Why now? What do I do? She looked up when she heard a knock on her door.

"'Calla? I heard about your mom. I, uh, came to see if you were okay." Ell said as she walked in to her room.

"I'm fine."

Ell sat down next to her, "No, you're not." She laid down and pulled the brunette to her, wrapping her arms around her in comfort.

"I just... I don't understand. Why couldn't the doctors help her? Why couldn't they figure it out sooner?" She felt the tears forming in her eyes.

"I don't know, 'Calla." The two girls laid there for what felt like hours, eventually drifting off to sleep.

• • •

A loud noise woke the girls up, Mircalla sat up, attempting to figure out where the noise was coming from. "'Calla, It's the door. Go get it." Ell groaned and rolled over.

The younger girl sighed and got up, rubbing her eyes as she walked down to answer the door. "Hi, Mrs. Morgan. Can I help you?"

"Hello there, Mircalla. Can I talk with you for a minute?"

"Sure, I guess." She let her neighbor in and led her to the living room. "What's up?"

"Listen, I heard about your mom."

"I don't need your pity."

"I don't pity you, dear. I was just going to offer you to come stay with me. I'm a registered foster parent. I can take you in, it will keep you here and out of the system."

"The cops told me they were going to find my dad."

"I know, honey, but we don't know how long that will take. While they're looking they'll put you in the system. They'll move you around, and if they can't find your dad, then you'll be in the system until you age out at eighteen."

"So... I can stay here? With you? And they'll still look for my dad?"

"Yes, sweetie. They'll still look for him."

"Okay. I'll stay with you."

• • •

Mircalla took a deep breath before knocking on the door of Mrs. Morgan's home. It wasn't long before the door was answered by a boy a little younger than her. "Hi, I'm Will. What's your name?"

"Mircalla. I'm gonna stay here. Where's Mrs. Morgan?"

"Mom is at work. She told me to let you in. Come on, I'll show you where your room is." She followed the boy, Will, into the house and up the stairs. He led her down the hallway, "This room is mine," he pointed to the first door on the right, "this is the bathroom. You can shower after you get settled in if you want." He opened the door next to his so she could see inside. "Mom's room is the one at the end of the hallway. Don't go in unless she tells you to. Even if she's sleeping and you have a nightmare." He walked across the hallway to another door, opening it and moving aside so she could go in, "This is Mattie's room. You'll share with her until mom can get your room set up."

"Who's Mattie?"

"My sister. She's adopted too. Don't worry, you'll like her. She's nice." Will smiled, "Well, I better let you get settled in. We can go over the rules later."

"Are you adopted?"

Will smiled sadly, "Yeah. But I was adopted when I was a baby, so it doesn't really feel like it. Don't ask Mattie about her family though. She...went through a lot and doesn't like to talk about it."

Mircalla nodded and walked over the window in her room to look out. She could see her old house. It was empty now. All her mother's things had been put in storage until Mircalla was old enough to get them. She sighed and turned around.

"Do you need help unpacking?" She looked up, not realizing Will was still in the room.

She shook her head, "I would like to know which bed is mine though."

"The one on the left. Come downstairs when you're settled in. I'll tell you the rules." With that He turned and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

• • •

"Rule number one: Don't leave the house without permission. Not even to sit on the deck. You can leave for school and work when you're old enough. Other than that, you have to ask." Will told her later that day, "Rule number two: Nobody comes over. You can go to friends' houses, but they don't come here. Rule three: Do your chores, when you're told. Trust me, you don't want to find out what happens when you don't."

Mircalla nodded, a little scared now, "When will Mrs. Morgan get back?"

"She'll get back tomorrow. Mattie should be home soon though." The front door opened, "or now." Mircalla watched over the back of the couch as a girl, maybe fourteen, walked into the house. She stopped when she saw the small girl on the couch, then turned to Will.

"Is this Maman's new pet?"

Will coughed, "No, foster kid, sort of. Mom is taking her in until they can find her father."

Mattie nodded and walked over to the couch, "Hey, I'm Mattie." She held out her hand.

"Mircalla." She took Mattie's hand and shook it.

• • •

Mircalla looked at the school with wide eyes. It was her first day of middle school, and she was terrified. "Calla, where have you been?" She turned and saw Ell running up to her, "I haven't seen you since you moved in with Mrs. Morgan at the beginning of the summer!" She wrapped her arms around the other girl in a hug.

"Maman has...rules. I wasn't allowed out. She's going to get me a phone soon though. So I'll be able to call you."

"Cool. Wait, Maman?" Ell cocked her head, "Why do you call her that?"

"That's what Mattie calls her. Mattie was adopted too."

"Oh. We'll come on, let's go find out if we're in the same class!"

• • •

Mattie was already home when Mircalla walked in the door. "Calla, darling, is that you?"

"Yes."

"Come help me with dinner. Maman won't be home until Wednesday, she got called in for a conference a few hours away."

Mircalla walked into the kitchen to find Mattie covered in flour. She laughed, "What are trying to make?"

"Well, it was supposed to be pizza. I can't get the dough rolled out though. It's rather frustrating."

Mircalla laughed harder and took the rolling pin from her, "Don't worry. I used to do this all the time with my mom." Her smile dropped.

"Hey, I'm–"

"No, It's fine." She started kneading the dough.

• • •

It was Wednesday when it happened. Mircalla had been sitting in the living room, working on her project for history class when the doorbell rang. She got up, and answered the door.

"Hey, 'Calla. We don't hang out anymore. So I came to get you. We're hanging out." Ell said as soon as the door was open.

"No, Ell. You have to leave."

"Well, then you're coming with me."

"No, I can't leave the house. Maman isn't home."

"Then let me in." Ell crossed her arms.

"You can't. You aren't supposed to be here. I could get in trouble. Leave, please."

"Seriously? If you don't wanna hang out, that's all you had to say."

"No, I wanna hang out, I just can't."

Ell shouldered past Mircalla and into the house, "Wow, nice place."

"Ell, please. You have to leave. Maman will be home soon. She can't know you were here." Just then she heard a car pull up outside. She could feel her panic rising. "Ell, look. Maman has rules. You can't be here. Now leave, out the back door. Please."

Ell scoffed, "I never see you anymore. I don't understand why you're so bent on following the rules. Why can't we just–"

Mircalla cut her off, not even thinking about her actions, she pushed Ell to the kitchen and out the back door, "Leave. I'll see you in school." Mircalla shut the door and returned to the living room to find Maman standing there, looking bored. She looked away and sat down to finish her project. She had only been working for a few seconds when the door flew open and Ell ran in, grabbing her by her shirt and pulling her off the couch.

"You think you can just ignore me the entire summer, and then only talk to me during school? Mircalla, I like you. You're my friend. At least I thought you were."

"Ell, dear. Hello."

Ell turned to look at her, "Hi, Mrs. Morgan." She then turned back to Mircalla, "Well? Are you even going to say anything?"

"Can I tell you that you're kind of hot when you're angry? 'Cause I feel threatened in more ways than one right now."

Ell growled, "Are you kidding me? We've been friends for 8 years, and you've been pretending like I don't exist except for school hours for the past few months and my feelings are hurt and all you can do is jokingly flirt with me?" She let go of her shirt, letting her fall back down to the couch, "Fine. I'll leave. I'll see you in school."

• • •

"Ell, can I talk to you?"

"Oh, so I exist again?"

Mircalla sighed, "Look, Maman doesn't like it when we have friends over. And I'm not allowed to leave the house without permission."

"So ask to leave the house and walk to mine. It's not like I live an hour away."

Mircalla smiled at her, "I'm always busy doing chores."

"Chores? You never did chores when your mom was alive. What changed?"

"Nothing. It's just...not my house. I can't disrespect Maman like that."

Ell nodded, "Look, I'm sorry if I got you in trouble yesterday. I just... missed you."

Mircalla sighed, "I know. And I'll try to come around more often." Ell hugged her, looking up in confusion when she felt her stiffen. She watched as her face contorted in pain.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just...um...fell. D-down the stairs. Yesterday morning."

"Mircalla. I've known you since you were six. You're a terrible liar."

Mircalla grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bathroom, "You can't tell anybody. If you do, I'll get taken out of the house. Mattie and Will will get taken out of the house. We'll all get put in the system and will probably never have a normal life ever again."

Ell look at her in confusion, "What do you mean?"

The brunette sighed, "When we break Maman's rules, she punishes us. Me more so than Mattie and Will. They've been with her longer. They know all of the rules. I was only told the main three. There's other ones that she just makes up on the spot. Like when I didn't eat my green beans."

"But you're allergic."

"She didn't know until after she..."

Ell's eyes shifted from her face to her torso. She reached a hand out, gently placing it on her stomach, "Can I..."

Mircalla shut her eyes and nodded, "Yeah just...be careful." Ell gently grabbed the end of her friend's shirt and started pulling it up, gasping when she saw the bruises. "She hasn't done anything worse than hit or kick me. She's burned Mattie and Will has been cut before. Both of them have been starved and–"

"Shh." Ell pulled her in for a hug, careful not to touch any of the bruises. She pulled away and looked into the younger girl's eyes, "So yesterday, were you just joking or... were you actually flirting with me?" She asked, trying to change the subject.

"Well, I, uh, I... um."

Ell laughed, "You like me. Don't you?" Mircalla blushed and looked away. "You've got a big, gay crush on me." Ell teased her. She placed a hand on the other girl's shoulder, "Don't worry. I have a big, gay crush on you too." Mircalla looked at her in shock.

"You do?" She smiled when Ell nodded, "Could um... could I..." she paused, "Can we..."

Ell giggled at her, kissing her on the cheek, "Yes."

Mircalla blushed again before leaning forward and kissing her friend.

• • •

"Ell, do you–" Mircalla cut herself off with a moan, "Are you sure?"

Ell pulled away from Mircalla's neck, "I'm sure if you're sure. We've been together for two years now. We're both horny teenagers."

Mircalla smirked, "In that case, please, proceed." Ell laughed and leaned down to capture her girlfriend's bottom lip between her teeth, moving her hands from where they rested on Mircalla's hips underneath her shirt to start sliding it up. She broke away from the kiss to pull the brunette's shirt off, followed by her own. Mircalla reached up to run her hands down Ell's sides, letting her hands rest on her hips, her fingers running underneath the waistband of the blonde's sweatpants. Ell smiled and leaned forward to trail kisses down Mircalla's bare stomach. The latter moaned at the contact, subconsciously bringing her hands up to fist them in the older girl's hair. "I love you," Ell breathed against the other girl's stomach before unbuttoning her jeans and slowly pulling them off.

• • •

It was only a few months later when Mircalla got a phone a phone call. Recognizing the hospital's number, her immediate response was to throw the phone, pretend as if she didn't know they were calling. However, she knew she couldn't do that. This could be serious. Will or Mattie might be hurt. "Hello," she tried to keep the fear out of her voice, but failed.

"Is this Mircalla Karnstein?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"There's been an accident. Mr. Campbell asked me to contact you." Mircalla heard her continue speaking, but the words weren't registering in her mind. She hung up the phone and pulled a jacket out of the closet. She ran downstairs and put her sneakers on, not even bothering to tie them.

"Where do you think you're going?" Mattie asked from the couch.

"Ell. Hospital. Gotta go." She ran outside, leaving the door open.

"Wait, you can't leave, you'll get in trouble." She heard Mattie yell after her, but she ignored her. It took her 15 minutes to run to the hospital, and 5 to find out where Ell was.

"Mircalla, thank goodness." Mr. Campbell pulled her in for a hug, "Ell is surgery now. She'll be out soon."

"What about Mrs. Campbell?"

He turned his face away, "She... she died on impact. The other car..." Mircalla couldn't stop the tears that started falling.

• • •

Mircalla went to the hospital everyday. Ell was in a coma. The doctors were sure she would wake up, they just didn't know when. Mircalla would bring her flowers every other week, that way when she woke up she would have fresh flowers to see. It had been two months since the accident when she went back, only to be stopped by a doctor, Ell's doctor, if she remembered correctly.

"I'm, sorry. You can't go in there. The room is being cleaned."

"Cleaned? Why? They let me in there last time when they were cleaning to see Ell."

"No, It's being prepared for another patient."

Mircalla looked at him in confusion for a moment, "But... Ell?"

"Her father had her transferred. She woke up last night. They left earlier this morning."

"Why? Why didn't he let me see her? Why did she get transferred?" She yelled, her eyes tearing up.

"I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to tell you that. Only family."

"I'm her girlfriend!"

He looked at her with sadness in his eyes, "I'm sorry."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: mentions of child abuse

Carmilla walked through the freshman dorms, trying to find her room. When she found room 307, she grabbed the handle, taking a deep breath before opening the door and walking in. She placed her suitcase on the floor by the wardrobe and looked around the room.

"Hi, you must be my roommate." She turned around to find a dirty-blonde girl with honey brown eyes looking at her with her hand held out.

"Uh... Yeah. Carmilla." She shook the girl's hand.

"Great. I'm Laura." She pulled her hand away, "I hope you don't mind, I took the bed on the right. And I'm sorry if this is awkward for you. I'm an only child and I've never had any friends to spend the night so I'm not sure exactly how to–"

"Cutie, It's fine. I grew up sharing a room with a sister. I'm used to it." Carmilla walked over to her bed and sat down.

"Okay. Well, um, should we establish boundaries? You know, so that we're both comfortable." Laura asked, unsure.

"As long as you stay out of my stuff and don't sleep with anyone in my bed, or while I'm in the room, we're good."

Laura blushed, "I um... that....won't happen."

Carmilla smirked, "Good. Anything else?"

"Just... same. And if you do, you know, sleep with someone in the room, warn me. I don't want to walk in on that."

"Sounds good. But I don't think you have anything to worry about."

• • •

"She's not that bad. Sure, she's messy, but she respects my boundaries."

"Laura, she steals your food, she doesn't clean her half of the room, and she's slept with like, every girl on campus. She could have a disease for all you know and you could get it. Your ass touches the same toilet as hers." Danny yelled. She was sitting on the corner of Laura's bed while Laura sat in the computer chair.

"Okay, that was unnecessary. Look Danny, just because you don't like her doesn't mean I have to dislike her too." Laura rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well, when she hurts you, and I know she will, I'll kill her."

Laura patted her shoulder, "You do that." The door flew open.

"Am I interrupting something?" Carmilla asked, throwing her bag on her bed before getting a soda out of the fridge.

"No, I was just leaving. I've got a Summer Society meeting." Danny stood up, "Bye, Laura. See you, Elvira."

Carmilla grunted in response and watched her until she was in the hallway with the door closed behind her, "I don't know what you see in her."

"What do you mean? I don't–"

"Please, buttercup. She's obviously all over you. You're all over her."

Laura looked at her roommate, "I don't like her, as a friend, but not like that. She's just... protective. Like she tries to protect me from you all the time. It's controlling and I get enough of that from my dad."

"She's still all over you. And what do you mean trying to protect you from me?" Carmilla sat down on the edge of her bed.

"She seems to think you've got some sort of disease and you're going to give it to me because we use the same toilet."

Carmilla started laughing, "She–"

"Yes. And like I said, it's annoying." Laura stood up and laid down on her bed, "Though you don't really help. I mean, would it kill you to at least clean your half of the room? And clean the shower drain after you shower?"

Carmilla sighed, "I guess not. Tell you what, cutie, you keep Xena out of our room, I'll clean up my side of the room."

Laura smiled, "Deal. If I want to hang with Danny, I'll do it somewhere else."

• • •

"Laura are you sure about this? I mean, I'm kind of scared of your roommate. She's... intense."

Laura sighed, "Perry, for the last time. She's never here during the night. She goes to parties or something and then stays with some girl."

Perry sighed, "Alright. I mean, you only turn nineteen once, right?"

Laura smiled, "Thanks, Perr."

• • •

Carmilla walked down the hallway, confused when she noticed the light coming from under her door. _Shouldn't the cupcake be asleep by now? It's like 2:30._ She opened the door, surprised to find her roommate and the ginger squad. _Are they drunk?_

"Carm! You should join us. We're having a great time." Laura laughed and walked towards her clumsily.

"What is going on in here?"

"It's her birthday, she's nineteen." LaFontaine, Perry's partner, said, "Come party!"

"Laura, not to be a party pooper, but it's past two, and don't you have a lit test tomorrow?"

"Oh, you're right. I should get to sleep. Sorry guys." Laura pushed her friends out of the room, "Bye, guys."

Carmilla walked into the kitchen to get her roommate a glass of water, "Here, drink up."

"How come you didn't stay with another girl tonight?"

"What? Cutie, go to bed. We'll talk tomorrow"

"Mmm 'kay, night" Laura walked over to her bed and flopped on top of the covers, falling asleep almost instantly. Carmilla chuckled to herself, changing and crawling into her own bed.

• • •

Laura walked out of her lit class to find Danny leaning against the wall. She sighed and walked over to her friend. "Hey, Laura. I was wondering if we could get some coffee. I just had two tests in a row and my brain is fried. I need a distraction." Danny gave her a smile and pushed herself off of the wall.

"Yeah, sure. Sounds good." The two walked across campus to the coffee shop, stopping along the way to drop their bags in Danny's dorm room.

"You wanna get a table and I'll order?" Danny asked as the walked in.

"Yeah, here." The shorter girl responded, pulling money out of her pocket and handing it to her.

"Don't worry about it, It's like five dollars. Hot chocolate, right?" Danny waved her hand away. Laura nodded and walked over to an empty table.

"Hey, cupcake. Didn't expect to see you here." Laura turned to see Carmilla standing next to her, holding two cups of coffee.

"Yeah, I'm here with Danny. What's up?"

"Just having some coffee with a friend." She nodded to point over to a table.

"Well, best not keep them waiting then. I don't think they'd like it if you gave them cold coffee."

Carmilla laughed, "I'll see you tonight. Have fun with the skyscraper." Laura watched as she walked over to where her friend was sitting. _Wait, is that Will? Since when did she hang out with the Zetas?_ Laura contemplated on whether or not she should ask her roommate why she talking to a Zeta bro.

"Hey, I got you a cookie. It came free with my coffee but I don't want it." Danny's voice brought Laura out of her thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh, thanks." She reached out for the cookie, scarfing it down quickly.

"Hungry much?"

"Sorry, I just... really like cookies." Laura smiled sheepishly. The girls sat there for a few hours, talking about random things and enjoying their drinks between conversations. It wasn't until Laura looked out the window a few feet away that she realized what time it was. "Oh, geez. Danny, It's already getting dark out. I should get going. Carm is going to think something happened if I don't get back."

"Oh, yeah, no, I should get going too. Wait, Carm?"

"Huh? Oh, It's just because I told her I'd be back. She might get worried an–"

"No, it's fine. Come on. You need to get your stuff from my room."

• • •

"Hey, listen. I had a good time." The girls paused in front of Laura's dorm. After getting her bag, Danny had insisted she walk Laura back to her room.

"Me too. It's nice to just hang out with a friend once in a while. Usually we have the whole group with us."

Danny smiled, "Yeah, but Laura that's not what I meant."

Laura frowned, "Look, Danny. I like you. I do. Just... not like that." Danny's smile dropped.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, I think you're great, but you're too protective."

Danny nodded, "I get it. I'm....sorry if I made things awkward."

Laura shook her head, "You don't need to apologize. I already knew how you felt. I don't think it's awkward, but if you need space I'm willing to give it to you."

Danny nodded, "I'll see you around, Laur."

• • •

"Hey, Carm?" Laura asked from her bed.

Carmilla looked up from her book, "Yes, cutie?"

"Um... I hope I'm not prying, but... when you were changing yesterday..."

Carmilla sighed, "You saw the scars didn't you?"

Laura nodded, "I just... they looked painful."

"It was a long time ago. Don't worry about it." She rolled over to face the wall. Laura stared at her back, for some reason she couldn't shake the feeling that she wanted, no, needed to protect her roommate from whatever caused those scars. She sighed and laid down, deciding she'd worry about whatever these feelings were later.

• • •

"You going home for Christmas?" LaFontaine asked as they sat down next to Laura in the cafeteria.

"Yeah, my dad says he has a huge surprise for me. I'm excited, yet scared."

"Why scared?"

"My dad can be a bit... reckless. That's why he's so protective over me."

"Ahh. Worried he's going to get you something weird?"

"When I was 15 he got me a trampoline but I couldn't jump on it unless I was wearing my elbow and knee pads and a helmet."

LaFontaine laughed, "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Can you imagine the neighbor's kids when they came over and saw my dad make me put on a bike helmet to 'protect myself from the dangers of jumping on a trampoline."' Laura rolled her eyes. "I can't wait to tell him about you guys though. He was worried I wouldn't be able to make friends."

"Why? You're a likeable person." LaFontaine gave her a huge grin, "Why would you not be able to make friends?"

"I've been homeschooled my whole life. The only friends I had were the neighbor's kids. And that's only because my dad worked with their parents."

The redhead reached across the table and put a hand on her shoulder, "You have nothing to worry about. There's not a single person who could hate you."

• • •

Laura was studying for her lit exam when Carmilla stormed into the room and threw herself on her bed. "Woah, you okay?"

"Peachy." The brunette snapped.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Laura asked, sliding off her bed to sit on the floor next to Carmilla's.

"Not really, but I assume you're going to keep bugging me until I do." She sighed, "Will is going home for Christmas break and I don't want him to."

"Well... who exactly is Will? I mean I saw you with him at the coffee shop last month, but I don't really like who he is. Other than that he's a Zeta."

"He... he's my brother. And I want him to stay with me for Christmas but he wants to go back."

"Well, if he's being stubborn, why don't you just go back with him. I'm assuming there's a reason you don't want him to go back so at least if you go with him you can keep an eye on him." Laura reached out and placed her hand on Carmilla's arm.

Carmilla looked up at her and sighed, "Yeah, I guess that's what I have to do. I'm not a fan but... I need to make sure He doesn't do anything stupid."

Laura smiled, "Are you excited for Christmas?"

Carmilla shook her head, "I've never really been a fan. Not since..." she trailed off.

Laura nodded in understanding, "My dad likes to go all out. He thinks he needs to make up for my childhood or something. The 'Christmas magic" has kind of worn off at this point."

"What does he need to make up for?" Carmilla asked her, rolling over to her side and moving back, giving Laura room to sit next to her.

Laura climbed up next to her, laying on her back, staring at the ceiling as she responded, "There was an accident when I was 14. My mom was driving me home from school. Some guy's brakes failed and he couldn't stop at a red light. He was going downhill and was picking up speed. He tried to warn us but it was too late. My mom was thrown from the car, I was wearing my seatbelt, but I hit my head pretty hard." Laura stopped, feeling the tears form in her eyes, "My mom died a few hours after being in the hospital. I didn't wake up for a week. And when I did... I didn't remember anything. Not even my name." Carmilla wrapped in arm around the blonde in comfort. Laura turned and buried her face in Carmilla's shoulder. They sat like that for a few minutes before Laura pulled away, "Since then my dad has been really protective. The only reason I even have my license is because I turned eighteen and he couldn't stop me. Sorry about... all this. I know it was like five years ago but..."

Carmilla shook her head, "No, don't apologize. I've had some shit in my past too. I know what it's like. You feel like you're never going to get over it. You feel like the whole world is against you. Like it isn't going to get better. It's okay to break down." She placed a hand on Laura's face and turned it so she could look into her eyes, "You don't have to be strong all the time."

Laura smiled and leaned forward to kiss Carmilla's cheek, "Thank you." She whispered, pulling away.

"You don't have to thank me, Laura." Laura smiled and shook her head. She turned away and moved to sit up so she could go to her own bed. The stopped, though, when she felt Carmilla's arms tighten around her. "Stay."

Laura smiled and laid back down, turning to face her roommate, "Do you need cuddled to sleep?"

Carmilla laughed softly, "Yeah, I think that would help." She frowned, "Unless, you know, you're not comfortable. It's just... when I was younger my mom used to cuddle me to sleep when I had a bad day."

Laura smiled and wrapped her arm around Carmilla's waist, "Goodnight, Carm." She rested her head against the brunette's shoulder.

"Night."

• • •

"Laura!" LaFontaine yelled, running towards her.

"Laf, hey, missed you too, but it's only been a few weeks."

LaFontaine laughed, "Yeah but Perr and I had to spend time with our families and it's really not pleasant. At all."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. But hey, Perry wanted to know if you wanted to come over later." LaFontaine asked as they walked towards Laura's dorm.

"Sure. I'd love to come over."

• • •

Laura walked into her dorm room smiling. She slid her suitcase next to the wardrobe, opting to unpack later. She flopped down on her bed and stretched out, closing her eyes.

"You're back." Laura popped an eye open to look at her roommate as she emerged from the bathroom.

"Don't sound so excited. I might just think you're happy for once." Laura teased.

Carmilla smiled and walked over to her roommate, sitting down next to her on the bed, "I'm glad you're back. I needed something good after being home."

Laura sat up, leaning back on her elbows, "What happened? Was it Will?"

Carmilla turned away, "That's a story for another day, cupcake."

Laura nodded, "I'm here though, if you need to talk."

Carmilla smiled slightly, "I know."

• • •

Carmilla walked towards the Zeta Omega Mu house. She looked around before entering, then walked down the hallway to her brother's room. She knocked, then entered when she heard him yell it was open.

"Kitty, what's up?" He walked towards her.

"Um... I reopened the cut on my back. I need you to clean it. I would ask Laura but... I don't want her asking questions."

He sighed and nodded, leading her into the bathroom so he could clean the wound. He told her to sit on the toilet and take her shirt off. Cringing, he grabbed the rubbing alcohol and started to disinfect the cut.

• • •

Laura walked into her room to see Carmilla standing shirtless by the bed. Her first instinct was to cover her eyes, but when she saw the state of her roommate's torso she stopped. "Carm..."

Carmilla whipped around, "Laura! You aren't supposed to be back yet!"

"My professor cancelled class, but that's not important, what happened to you?"

Carmilla sat on her bed, "I..." Laura sighed and sat down next to her, "You don't have to tell me. I understand."

"No, I– I want to. You told me your story, It's only fair." She looked up at Laura.

Laura smiled, "Take your time." She wrapped an arm around the dark haired girl's shoulders.

Carmilla took a deep breath, "When my mom found out she was pregnant with me, my father left. So I grew up without a dad. My mom wasn't the richest person. We spent the first few years of my life living with family or friends. She was saving up to get a house. When she finally got enough for one, we moved. Just in time for me to start school. I didn't know how to make friends, none of the other kids really liked me. I didn't make a friend until first grade." She paused. "She was my first friend. My only friend." Carmilla looked up at Laura, "She was my first everything, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"My first friend, first kiss, first girlfriend, first love, first... uh, time." She smiled to herself.

Laura smiled at her, "She sounds great. I wish I had had someone like that."

"You didn't?"

Laura shook her head, "I grew up homeschooled. No girlfriends, not even friends. Sometimes I feel out of place. I mean, I'm in college and I'm still a virgin." She scoffed at herself.

"Hey, that's not a bad thing."

Laura looks at her thoughtfully, "What's it like?"

Carmilla shifts and removes Laura's arm from her shoulder to lay down, "It's... well. It's comforting, knowing that somebody loves you enough to let you see all of them. It's amazing. But... I've only done it once."

Laura looked at her, shocked, "Once? Where did you go all night last semester?"

The brunette laughs, "I'm a grumpy drunk. I stayed at Will's at night."

Laura laughs and lays down next to her roommate, "Then... why haven't you, you know."

"I haven't found anybody that I want to share something that special with. Not since Ell."

"Ell? Was she your...?"

"Yeah."

"Then... what um, happened?"

"A few months after our first time... there was an accident. Her father survived. She was in a coma for two months before... she got transferred. As soon as she woke up, her father moved her. I don't know why." She didn't realize she was crying until she felt Laura wipe her tears away. "I guess... that doesn't really tell you much about my scars though does it."

"Carm, you don't have to. You're already crying. Just tell me another time."

"No, I'm okay." She took a deep breath, "My mom died when I was 11. I moved in with my old babysitter, Mrs. Morgan, so that I would stay out of foster care. But... I probably would have been better off in foster care."

Laura wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into a hug, "You don't have to go any further."

Her roommate shook her head, "She had rules. Ridiculous rules, but rules nonetheless, and if you broke them, you got punished. Ell found out and she used to take care of me, but after the accident I didn't have anybody to take care of me. Cuts wouldn't heal, and then they would reopen and things just got worse. Will and Mattie were always too hurt. We helped each other when we could, but it wasn't often. And Mattie was older than us. She left for college the first chance she got. I haven't seen her since. Since Will was only a year younger than me, I stayed until he was 18. We came to college together."

Laura was crying now, and Carmilla reached out a hand to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Carmilla just nodded and turned, burying her face into Laura's chest. The girls laid there, crying and comforting each other until all Laura could hear was the occasional sniffle and the sound of Carmilla's soft snoring. She kissed the top of the brunette's head and drifted off to sleep herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of underage sexy times.

Carmilla sighed when she heard a knock on the door. She got up and looked at the time on her phone. _It's 3 am. Who the hell is here?_ She opened the door, only to find her roommate staring back at her, hand raised as if she was going to knock again.

"Um... Hi, Carm." Laura laughed nervously.

"Cupcake, why are you knocking on your own door?" She moved aside so Laura could enter the room.

"It was movie night with Laf and Perry. I thought I would be back sooner but I fell asleep. Apparently I forgot my key." She grabbed her pyjamas from under her pillow and started to change, "Thanks for letting me in."

Carmilla sat down on her bed, "Well it's your room too. I wasn't going to just leave you out there." She tried not to watch her roommate change, but somehow her eyes kept ending up looking at her.

"Still."

Laura turned around, blushing when she caught Carmilla looking at her. Carmilla looked away quickly.

The blonde giggled, "Carm you don't have to embarrassed. I'm... actually kind of flattered."

Carmilla looked back at Laura, "You're beautiful, did you know that?"

Laura walked over and stood in front of the brunette, "Thank you. Nobody's ever said that to me before."

Carmilla looked up her, "I refuse to believe that."

"Unless my father counts..."

Carmilla laughed, "No. Not really." She pulled Laura down onto the bed with her, "Hey, I know you said that you're a virgin and that you've never had a girlfriend, but... have you ever kissed anybody?"

Laura nodded, "It wasn't a girl though. My dad set me up on a date when I was 16, with one of his friend's kid. He kissed me when he brought me home. My dad wasn't happy about that, but when I came out to him the next day he forgave me." Laura laughed.

Carmilla just looked at her.

"What?"

"Nothing, you just... have a pretty laugh." Carmilla smirked at her, "I wanna hear it again."

"What exactly do you me–" Laura was cut off as Carmilla reached a hand out to start tickling her. "Ahh! Carm! Stop, stop it!" Laura laughed uncontrollably, "Please! Uncle, uncle!"

Carmilla stopped, only to throw a leg over Laura's waist to straddle her, "Not a chance."

She continued to tickle Laura. Laura tried to grab her wrists, eventually succeeding and pushed Carmilla off of her.

"Oh, come on, cutie." Carmilla pushed her shoulder.

"You wanna fight?" Laura asked, leaning forward.

"Bring it, cupcake." Laura tackled Carmilla. The girls fell backwards onto the bed, wrestling. They fought for a few minutes before they both dropped onto the bed breathless.

"I haven't done that since I was a kid. Ell and I used to wrestle all the time." Carmilla propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at Laura.

"I wrestled with my cousins a few times, but they were always scared they'd hurt me." Laura smiled up at her, "It's much more fun when the person you're fighting with isn't a 17 year old boy who's going easy on you."

Carmilla smiled and brought her hand up to move Laura's hair out of her face. Laura inhaled sharply when the brunette left her hand resting against the smaller girl's face. The blonde lifted her hand to grab Carmilla's, intertwining their fingers. "Laura..."

"You can kiss me," Laura whispered, "if you want to."

Carmilla leaned forward, stopping just before her lips touched Laura's, waiting for Laura to meet her. The blonde complied and breathed in before meeting her roommate's lips.

• • •

Laura smiled at her friends as she walked to sit them in the cafeteria. It had been two weeks since the kiss, but they hadn't talked about it. Laura doesn't know what to think. They had kissed and then fell asleep next to each other, but the next morning Carmilla had already gone to class. She cares about Carmilla. Laura's never had a crush before, but she thinks this is what it's supposed to feel like. _I mean, I care about Laf and Perry too, but I don't want to kiss them._

"What's up, Laur? You're pretty deep in thought over there." LaFontaine asked.

"Nothing just... stuff."

"Laura, it's not good for your mental state to keep things bottled up. Why don't you tell us what's wrong?" Perry looked over to her.

The blonde sighed, "How did you guys know you liked each other?"

They both seemed taken aback. "Well... we were really good friends for years and then one day I guess I just realized that I wanted to be more than that." LaFontaine answered, "Why, you think you like someone?"

"Yeah. I've just never had a crush before and I don't know exactly how I'm supposed to feel. I don't want to tell her I want to be with her and then realize that I don't." Laura groaned and let her head fall onto the table.

"Hey, Laura?"

Laura picked her head up and turned around, "Hey, Danny."

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Danny looked towards LaFontaine and Perry, "Alone?"

Laura looked over to the two redheads, "I guess, sure." She stood up and followed Danny out of the cafeteria and into the hallway, "What's up?"

"So... there's this girl. I've been wanting to ask her out for awhile now but I'm not sure how. I was wondering if you'd be willing to get her number for me or something?"

Laura smiled, "Yeah sure. Who is it?"

Danny led Laura back into the cafeteria and pointed to a tall blonde sitting at a nearby table, "Her name's Betty."

Laura nodded, "Don't worry, I've got this."

• • •

"So, what'd she say?" Danny asked as soon as

Laura walked up to her. "At first she told me to piss off, then I told her I wasn't asking for her number for me. Here."

Laura handed the tall girl a slip of paper with Betty's phone number on it.

"Thank you so much Laura. Seriously." Danny hugged her, pulling her upwards until her feet left the ground.

"Danny, not that I'm not enjoying being squeezed to death, but can you put me down?"

"Oh, sorry." Danny laughed.

Laura chuckled, "Laf and Perry are probably wondering where I am. I'll see you later. Tell me how things go." Laura waved and walked back over to her table.

"What was all that about?" LaFontaine asked as she sat down next to them.

"Danny wanted help getting some girl's number."

"And... you're not bothered by that?"

"Why would I be?" Laura asked, confused.

"You mean... you don't like Danny?"

Laura shook her head, "No, Danny isn't the girl I like. I mean, yeah, she's beautiful, but... not the girl I like."

Perry patted her hand, "That's all right dear. So you're sure you like this other girl then?"

Laura bit her bottom lip, "Yeah. I mean I was pretty sure I liked her and then we kissed and–"

"Hang on, who is this girl?" LaFontaine interrupted her.

"Uh... Carmilla."

• • •

Laura fidgeted on her bed, stealing glances at her roommate every few minutes. "Alright, cutie. What's up?" Carmilla closed her book.

"Up? Nothing. Nothing's up. Except maybe the ceiling. The sky is definitely u–"

"Laura." Laura closed her mouth, staring wide eyed at Carmilla, "What's wrong?"

Laura let out a breath, "Are we... going to talk about what happened?"

Carmilla closed her eyes and sighed, "I'd rather not. Seeing as you..." she trailed off.

The blonde got up and knelt in front of her roommate, "Seeing as I what?" She asked, softly.

"I saw you. In the cafeteria. With the beanstalk." She turned her head away.

"Carm, Danny was asking me to get a girl's number for her. We're just friends. I told you before I don't like her like that." Laura reached out and took Carmilla's hands in hers, "I like you."

Carmilla couldn't fight off the smile that appeared on her face even if she tried, "I like you too." She frowned, "But... Laura I'm scared."

"Scared of what, Carm?" Laura pushed herself up and sat on the bed next to the brunette.

"Scared of losing you. Everybody I've ever loved has left. My Mother, Ell, Ell's parents. They found my father, he refused to take me. Mattie. I don't want to lose you too."

"Carm... all those people didn't choose to leave. I mean, besides your father and Mattie. But... I'm not going to leave, okay. If I get offered a job in, I don't know, Australia, tomorrow and they said I could be rich in weeks; I'd stay here. I really like you."

Carmilla smiled and looked up to meet her eyes. "So... does that mean if I asked you to be my girlfriend you'd say yes?"

Laura leaned forward and kissed her, "Does that answer your question?" She breathed against Carmilla's lips.

"Hell yes."

• • •

"Please, Carm. Just one movie night? You don't ever have to go again if you don't want to." Laura stuck out her bottom lip.

Carmilla sighed, "Fine, I'll go. But the movie better be good."

Laura squealed and jumped off the bed to tackle her girlfriend into a hug, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

The brunette smiled, "Yeah, but just this once." "Of course." The two stood up and walked down the hallway to LaFontaine and Perry's room. Laura knocked on the door, "Laf? We're here."

LaFontaine opened the door, "Hey, guys. Come in. Perr's getting the cookies."

"Cookies? Perry's cookies?" Laura looked to the kitchen.

"And brownies." LaFontaine smirked. "You came during a good week, Carmilla."

The girl nodded and ran a hand through her hair, "So... what movie are we watching?"

"Perr chose Maleficent. Apparently she's in the mood for a Disney movie but didn't want a cartoon." The redhead replied, motioning for the girls to sit on the floor where blankets had been set up.

"Sounds good."

• • •

Carmilla slammed the door when she walked into the room, throwing her bag on the floor and flopping angrily on her bed. "Uh... Carm you alright?" Laura asked from the bathroom.

"No. I'm not. Will wants to go back, again." Laura walked out into the room and over to where Carmilla was wiping tears from her face,

"Why does he want to go back?"

"He feels that he owes her because she raised him. I love him, but he can be so stupid sometimes." She reached out her hand, waiting for Laura to lay down and cuddle up next to her.

Laura rested her head against Carmilla's chest, "Have you tried contacting your sister? Maybe she can talk some sense into him?" Laura looked up at her.

She shook her head, "I haven't talked to Mattie in a few months. And she lives in France now. She went back to find her birth mom."

"Back? She was born there?"

"Yeah. She was put up for adoption when she was a baby and then put in foster care, her foster family moved here and... left her. She was too young to take care of herself, she almost died. She was found a few days later and was hospitalized for awhile. Then put back in foster care. Until... Maman adopted her." She sighed, "She's been looking for her birth family for six months now. She's been busy though and hadn't had time to talk. I'm scared, Laura. I don't want Will to go back, but I can't stop him."

• • •

"Will? I... got a hold of Mattie. She wants to fly us out there for the Summer. What do you think?" Carmilla asked nervously.

"Visit France? Hell yeah." He looked at her excitedly, "Screw mom. At least Mattie won't hit me."

Carmilla smiled, "Good. I'll call her later and let her know we're coming. I've got to go, though. I'll text you later."

Will nodded and got up to open the door for her, "Bye, sis."

The brunette smiled and walked down the hallway to the door. She opened it and stepped outside to find Laura leaning against the wall. "Hey there, babe. You come here often?" She asked the blonde jokingly.

Laura looked over at her, "Not really, but I think I might start to if it means I get to see more of you."

Carmilla laughed, "You're really bad at flirting." She leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"Yeah, but you like me anyway." Laura returned the kiss and grabbed her hand, walking towards their dorm.

"Yeah, I do. So, Will said he's down to go to France. So I guess we're going to France for the Summer. You're welcome to come if you want."

Laura smirked, "What? Don't think you can survive three months without me?"

"That does sound like an unreasonably long time to go without seeing you. But if you can promise you won't find another hot, leather-wearing girlfriend while I'm gone I think I'll survive."

She returned her girlfriend's smirk. "Same goes for you. Don't fall for any French beauties."

"Trust me, Laura, I won't."

• • •

Three months and two weeks. That's how long it's been since Laura's seen Carmilla. Sure, she's talked to her, but it isn't the same. She's missed her. She was sitting on her bed, staring at the door. She was due to come in any minute now.

"Cupcake, let me tell yo–" She was cut off as Laura barreled into her, hugging her as if her life depended know it. Carmilla dropped her bag and wrapped her arms around Laura's waist, "I missed you too, cutie." She whispered in Laura's ear.

The blonde hummed contentedly, "Can we talk tomorrow, I just wanna cuddle." Carmilla silently pulled away from the hug and grabbed Laura's hand, tugging her over to the bed. They both sat down on the edge of the bed, Carmilla leaning over to untie her boots and pull them off. She crawled to the headboard and reached out for Laura.

"Come 'ere." Laura smiled at her and laid back, wrapping an arm around the brunette's waist and tucking her head in the crook of the other girl's neck. Both fell asleep within minutes.

• • •

"Carm..." Laura breathed out, eyes closed as her girlfriend continued to kiss down her bare stomach. She shut her eyes tight, trying to keep the rising panic down.

"Laura, cupcake, what's wrong?" Carmilla pulled away, looking up at her.

"I... I don't know. I... I'm not ready." Laura turned her face away to hide it in the pillow. She felt embarrassed, here she was, nineteen years old and she still wasn't ready.

Carmilla gently placed a hand on her cheek and wiped her tears away, "That's nothing to be ashamed of. It's okay to not be ready, you'll know when you are. And if you never are ready that's okay too."

Laura wrapped her arms around the brunette and pulled her down into a hug, "How are you so perfect?"

"I'm far from perfect."

Laura pulled away to look at her, "Yeah, but you're perfect for me. And that's all that matters." Carmilla smiled and leaned so her forehead was rested against the blonde's. "Carm..."

"Yes, cutie?"

"How old were you? When you and Ell...?" Laura asked hesitantly.

"I was... fifteen. Ell was sixteen." Carmilla slid down to get under the blankets.

Laura followed. "How did you know it was the right time?" She started to roll over to face away from the brunette before she stopped her.

"I um... can I be the little spoon?" Carmilla asked, giving Laura a sheepish smile. Laura nodded and wrapped an arm around her waist after she had rolled to face away from the blonde. "And... I can't really explain it. You just... know."

• • •

"LaFontaine has been planning this dinner for months. They're going to propose to Perry. You are not going to sit at home just because you 'don't feel like going out.' Get off your ass and get dressed." Laura told Carmilla sternly.

"Fine, fine, I'm up." The taller girl stood up and walked to the bathroom. "You know, I might be a little more motivated if I had some company while I showered."

Laura sighed, "If you promise that we will be out the door within the next hour and a half without so much as a whine from you I will join you in the shower." Carmilla pulled her into the bathroom.

• • •

"Perry, I've known you since we were five. You've always been there for me, you comforted me when my parents divorced, you let me cry on your shoulder when my brother said I was always going to be his little sister, you held me when I told my dad we were together and he told me to get out. Sure, we've had some bumps in the road, there's no doubting that. But we've always gotten through it. Five years ago, I asked you to be my girlfriend. Today, I'm asking you to be my wife. Lola Perry, would you make me the happiest person in the world and marry me?"

Perry nodded, too shocked for words as she wrapped her arms around her partner and pulled them in for a kiss.

Laura wiped a tear from her eye, "They're such a cute couple."

"Yeah, they are." The blonde turned to see Carmilla smiling fondly at the two redheads.

• • •

"I love you." The words slip out before Laura can even realize she's said them, but as soon as they're out she realizes how true they are. She does love Carmilla.

"Good." Laura glares at her girlfriend, "I'm just kidding, I love you too, cutie." Carmilla leans in and kisses Laura. It starts out slow, with the brunette trying to put all her feelings into it, but Laura isn't having it. She parts her lips, letting her tongue run along Carmilla's bottom lip. Carmilla smirks and pulls away, then gasps when Laura leans forward to trail kisses down her neck. "Cutie?" She asks when she feels Laura start to slide her shirt up.

"I'm just," she pulls the taller girl's shirt off, "going with the flow. If I need to stop, I'll stop and we can both get in a very cold shower, deal?"

Carmilla nods and pulls Laura's shirt over her head. "Why don't we at least lay down?" She points to the bed next to them before laying down. Laura laughs and walks over, popping the button on her jeans open and climbing on the bed to straddle her girlfriend.

• • •

Laura didn't need to stop, and afterwards the girls laid in bed, tangled together with just a sheet covering their lower halves. It wasn't perfect, it was clumsy, and awkward, and Carmilla had to reassure Laura that "Yes, that's okay," more than once. Laura fell asleep with a smile on her face, head rested against Carmilla's bare chest, listening to her heartbeat. Carmilla watched her sleep for what felt like hours before the sound of Laura's breathing and the slight _thump thump, thump thump_ of their synchronized heartbeats lulled her to sleep as well.

• • •

Laura's dad had been on a business trip for Christmas, so she went home with LaFontaine and Perry. LaFontaine's mom was nice, if not a little old fashioned. She had immediately welcomed Laura and offered for her to stay in the guest room instead of finding a hotel. Laura liked her, but she couldn't help but flinch every time she called Lafontaine "Susan." She would correct herself though, so at least she was trying, Laura thought.

Perry's family was another story. They were perhaps a little too accepting. Laura couldn't understand how one family could be so uptight and anxious, but yet love and accept everybody who walked through their doors. She had fun, spending the holidays with her friends, but she missed Carmilla, who had gone to Italy with Mattie.

• • •

"Mmm, I should go away more often if this is going to be what I come home too." Carmilla joked as she pulled Laura's naked body closer to her.

"Oh, hush. You know you missed me too." Laura reached behind her and slapped her girlfriend, though where she isn't sure.

"I did. Next time I'm taking you with me." She placed a kiss on the back of Laura's neck. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Now go to sleep, you big sap."

• • •

"Carm, have you seen my–"

"Your bag is by the door."

"Thanks, and my –"

"Under your bed." Laura reached under the bed for her shoes, pulling them on quickly before grabbing her bag and running out of the door. "Forgetting something?" Carmilla called after her.

The blonde ran back in the room and pecked her on the cheek, "Love you." And she ran off again. Carmilla chuckled and sat back down on her bed, she still had a few hours before her first class of the day, which she was going to use to catch up on sleep.

• • •

"Laf and Perry have set a date for their wedding. It's in July, will you be there or is Mattie whisking you off to some foreign country?" Laura asked while they were out for dinner.

"I don't know yet. If Mattie has to work I might be stuck with Will. I'll try to make it though." She twirled some spaghetti on her fork.

"Okay. Carm?" Laura set her fork down and looked up at her girlfriend, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You just... you've been a little distant lately."

The brunette sighed, "I'm just worried. I know we still have awhile before classes end but I can't help but worry that Mattie will be busy and me and Will might have to go home for the Summer."

Laura placed her hand on top of Carmilla's, "Carm, you and Will are always welcome to stay with me. Why don't you worry about that when it gets closer okay?"

Carmilla nodded, "Okay."

• • •

"Will? I need your help, please." Carmilla begged as soon as he opened his door.

"What's up, Kitty?" He moved aside so she could enter the room.

"Mine and Laura's anniversary is coming up and I don't know what to do for her. You've been in serious relationships, help me!" She started frantically pacing.

"Woah, calm down. You've been in a serious relations too. What did you do for Ell?"

"I forgot our one year anniversary. For our two year anniversary I had sex with her for the first time. Laura and I have already done that. I need to do something special." Carmilla started pulling at her hair.

"Okay, stop that." Will pulled her hands away from her hair and pushed her onto his bed, "Sit on your hands. Now. Good, Kitty."

She huffed and glared at him, "Are you done? Can you tell me what to do now?"

"Alright, here's what you're going to do."

• • •

"Hey... Carm?" Laura walked into the dorm room to find her girlfriend missing. _Shouldn't she be back by now?_ She set her bag down and went to sit down on her bed before she saw a piece of paper laying on her desk. Confused, she picked it up.

**Cutie,**

**How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.**

**I love thee to the depth and breadth and height**

**My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight**

**For the ends of being and ideal grace.**

**I love thee to the level of every day's**

**Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.**

**I love thee freely, as men strive for right.**

**I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.**

**I love thee with the passion put to use**

**In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.**

**I love thee with a love I seemed to lose**

**With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,**

**Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,**

**I shall but love thee better after death. -Elizabeth Browning**

**Happy one year, Laura.**

Laura smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes, "Just a minute." She called when she heard a knock on the door. She got up and placed the poem on her desk before going to open the door.

"Hey, I'm here to pick you you for our date." Carmilla smiled at her.

"Date? Am I dressed okay? Do I need to change? Oh, God, you can't just spring this on me–"

"Laura, you look fine. Flawless. It's not like we're going to a five star restaurant. We're going to look at the stars."

• • •

"Mattie? What are you doing here?" Carmilla ran up to hug her sister after Laura had let her in.

"I came to see you. I know you said you wouldn't be coming with me to Brazil this Summer. I got a week off of work, I figured I'd come visit you." She smiled and sat down on Laura's bed. "You must be Laura. I must say, you are rather beautiful. Carmilla, you had better not let this one go."

"That's not the plan, Mattie. We... don't really have anything to eat or drink. Why don't we head out and get some lunch?" Carmilla asked, already pulling on her boots.

"Carm, I can stay here if you want to catch up with your sister. It's not a–"

"Laura, you're my girlfriend. I don't have to be alone to catch up with Mattie." She stood up and wrapped her arms around Laura's waist, "Now come on, before the lunch rush hits and we have to wait in a line."

• • •

"So, what did Mattie mean when she said you weren't going to Brazil with her this summer?" Laura asked when she and Carmilla lay in bed later that night.

"She has to go there for a business thing and offered to take me and Will. Will's going but... I was going to ask if I could go home with you. I know you offered a few weeks ago and I was thinking about it and I realized that I haven't met you your dad yet and we've been together for over a year." She paused, "And maybe I kind of want to be there when Tweedledee and Tweedledum get married."

Laura smiled, "Of course you can come home with me." She leaned in and kissed the brunette's cheek, "I can't wait for you to meet my dad. He'll love you, I'm sure of it."

Carmilla hummed and turned her head to kiss her girlfriend. Laura brought a hand up and gently cupped her cheek, deepening the kiss. Carmilla rolled over on to her back and pulled Laura on top of her to straddle her hips.

Laura pulled away from the kiss and looked into the brunette's eyes, "Do you want to?" The taller girl nodded and Laura leaned forward to trail kisses down her neck, sliding her hands underneath the black tank top she was wearing. Carmilla brought her hands up to rest them on Laura's waist, moaning lightly when Laura gently bit her. The blonde pulled away and leaned back to pull the tank top off, her own soon following it to the floor. She ran her hands down her girlfriend's sides, dipping her fingers into the waistband of her bed shorts.

Laura glanced up and at Carmilla's nod she started to slide her shorts down her legs, throwing them to join their shirts on the floor. She stood up to slide her own bed pants off, her underwear following. Carmilla smiled and reached out for her, grabbing Laura's hands and intertwining their fingers. The blonde giggled softly and leaned in to kiss her again, breaking away to trail kisses down her chest. Carmilla moaned lightly and reached behind Laura's back to unhook her bra, pulling it off and tossing it to the floor. Laura glanced up at her girlfriend and smiled, reaching behind her to rid her of her bra as well. She continued kissing down Carmilla's chest, the brunette letting out soft moans when she reached the most sensitive part of her breast.

Laura pulled away and kissed her girlfriend again, bringing her hands up to cup her face. She ran her hands down her chest and gently cupped the other girl's breasts, running her thumbs over her hardening nipples. Carmilla arched off the bed slightly, moaning into the kiss. The blonde pulled away and began trailing kisses down her chest again. She glanced up when she reached her stomach, "Are you sure?" Carmilla nodded and Laura leaned back down to continue trailing kisses down her girlfriend's stomach, "I love you" She breathed against the other girl's skin. Carmilla felt a sense of deja vu but decided to ignore it when Laura ran her fingers under the waistband of her underwear and began to pull them off.

• • •

"Mir– Carmilla, dear, as nice as it is to see you happy again... don't you think..." Mattie stopped, not sure how to address her concern.

"What? Is there something wrong? Do you not like Laura?" Carmilla asked with wide eyes.

"No, I think she's great it's just... she looks like her. You're not just with her because she looks like Ell are you?"

"Mattie, seriously? I'm with Laura because I love her. It has nothing to do with Ell."

Mattie nodded, "Okay, Kitty, just making sure."

• • •

"So are you going to wear a dress or a suit to Laf and Perry's wedding?" Laura asked while looking through dresses on the rack in front of her.

"I was thinking a suit. I mean, it's Laf so..." Laura looked over to her girlfriend in shock, "What?"

"Nothing it's just... you said their name. You didn't say Tweedledee or Ginger 1. You actually said their name."

Carmilla smiled sheepishly, "Well, they're your friend and I'm your girlfriend and if I want you to stay with me for as long as I want you to I'm going to have to start respecting your friends, right?"

Laura smiled and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, pulling away slightly when realized exactly what she had said, "And just how long did you want me to stay?"

"Laura... I know it's only been a little over a year, and honestly I think it's too soon right now but I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. I never thought I would actually have a relationship like this again after Ell, but I have that with you and I don't want to let go of it, ever." She smiled at the blonde, "I'm not asking right now, but I would be the happiest girl in the world if one day you'll let me call you my wife."

Laura smiled and brought a hand to her face to wipe away a tear that had fallen, "How could I ever say no to you? I look forward to when you ask me in a few years." She leaned in to kiss the brunette.

• • •

"So where is your other half?" LaFontaine asked as they sat down next to Laura.

"She wasn't feeling good this morning. I told her to rest, I'd get her work for her." Laura took a bite of her sandwich, "So how have you and Perry been?"

"We're good. She a bit stressed over the wedding plans but I gave her a massage last night and she seemed calmer this morning when she left so I think it helped. How are things with Carmilla?"

Laura smiled, "Great, actually. I can't wait to take her home in a few weeks."

"She's going home with you? Is she going to be at the wedding?"

Laura nodded, "Yeah, her sister offered to take her to Brazil with her but she decided to come with me. She's excited about the wedding, she won't admit it though."

"Then how do you know she's excited?"

"Because she called you Laf a few weeks ago when we were dress shopping."

"Wow, no nickname? What brought that on?"

Laura blushed and looked away, "She said that she had to start respecting my friends."

LaFontaine eyed her suspiciously, "What happened?"

"She... she asked me to marry her."

"She proposed! Please tell me you said yes."

"She didn't propose. She said it was still too soon and she hasn't even met my dad yet. She just said that she would be the happiest girl in the world if I would marry her one day."

LaFontaine laughed, "So how long for you think before she actually proposes?"

The blonde shrugged, "I don't know. She's still scared that I'm going to end up leaving her. If she doesn't do it within two years I'm proposing to her."

They nodded, "Sounds like a plan to me."

• • •

"I don't understand why you can't just pick a dress already. We've to like a hundred different stores in the past three weeks. I got my suit at the first store we went to. All I need is a tie Which I can't get until–" Carmilla paused her rant when she caught sight of her girlfriend walking out of the dressing room.

Laura giggled at the look on her girlfriend's face, "I think this is the dress I should go with."

Carmilla closed her mouth and shook her head slightly, "How am I going to be able to focus on the wedding with you wearing that." She watched with hungry eyes as Laura walked over to her, "You look great, but really. I'm going to pull you away to the bathroom every five minutes with you in that thing."

Laura leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, "I guess you're just going to have to try to control yourself, won't you?"

Carmilla closed her eyes and whimpered quietly, "We need to leave. Now."

Laura smirked, "I'm getting this dress."

• • •

"Is everything packed?"

"Yes, cutie. Everything is packed. We can leave as soon as Laf and Perry get here." Carmilla wrapped an arm around Laura's waist, "Stop being so nervous. I'm sure your dad will love me."

Laura smiled and leaned against the brunette, "I know. And even if he doesn't that isn't going to stop me from loving you."

"Good to know." She looked away from Laura when the door flew open, "Welcome. I guess it's time to go then." Her and Laura each grabbed a suitcase and followed the redheaded couple to LaFontaine's car. When they arrived at the airport the four of them stayed together until they had to walk to their separate gates. LaFontaine turned to Laura, their arm around Perry's waist.

"Don't forget your dad is welcome to come to the wedding."

Laura smiled, "I won't. We'll see you guys in a month." They exchanged hugs and turned to walk in separate directions. The flight was nice, although a bit awkward as Laura got stuck sitting next a six year old that was flying by himself. He cried for a few minutes but cheered up when Laura offered him some of Perry's brownies she had brought with her. He talked with Laura for an hour before falling asleep, Laura pushed the armrest up and let him lay his head in her lap so he was more comfortable.

Carmilla watched Laura interact with the kid, not surprised that Laura was this nice to a kid she didn't even know. She smiled fondly at her girlfriend as she ran her fingers through the boy's hair, soothing him after he whimpered from the turbulence shaking the plane. "You're really great with kids."

Laura looked up at the brunette, "I used to babysit in high school. I guess I'm just used to it." It didn't take long before Laura was out as well, her head resting against Carmilla's shoulder. Carmilla smiled and pecked the top of her head, pulling a book out of her carry on.

• • •

The girls had stood with the boy until his parents picked him up, apologizing to him for being late because something had come up at work. The boy smiled and told them it was okay because he made friends. His parents looked up at the girls and smiled, thanking them for taking care of him. Laura had shrugged and said she would have wanted someone to take care of her kid if they were flying alone. She gave the boy another brownie and waved as he walked off with his parents.

"My cousin should be picking us up. My dad got called into work." Laura said as they waited outside. Carmilla nodded and glanced around at everybody before looking back at Laura. She smiled and leaned in to kiss her.

"Hey, lovebirds!" The girls broke apart to see a teenage boy in a truck in front of them, "Getting in or not?"

• • •

Laura smiled as she walked into her house. She turned to Carmilla and nodded her head up the steps, silently telling her to follow. She carried her suitcase to her her room and threw it in the corner before flopping down on her bed, exhausted. Carmilla laughed quietly at her and laid down next to her.

Laura rolled over and wrapped an arm around the brunette's waist, "My dad should be home in an hour. How does a nap sound?" Carmilla nodded, too tired to speak and pulled Laura against her, the two falling asleep quickly.

• • •

When Carmilla woke up Laura wasn't there, figuring she had gone to the bathroom or to get something to eat Carmilla decided to lay there for a few minutes. She glanced around the room, laughing at the Harry Potter and Doctor Who posters on the wall. She looked to her left and smiled at the picture of a maybe seventeen year old Laura standing with a group of kids.

"Those were the kids I used to babysit." Carmilla heard from behind her. She felt the bed dip down and rolled over to face her girlfriend. She smiled and her eyes drifted to the picture on her bedside table, her smile falling away as she stared at an all too familiar face. "Hey, Laura."

"Yeah, babe?"

"Why do you have a picture of me and Ell in your room?"


	4. Chapter 4

"What?" Laura looked at Carmilla as if she had three heads. "That's me and my mom. And my dad said her name was Mircalla."

"Laur... this is Ell. And her mom. And... me. I remember the day this picture was taken. It was right before–"

"Before the accident. I know. My dad told me, that's why he let's me keep this one. The rest he keeps in a photo album in his closet. He won't let me see them." Laura shook her head, "I still don't understand though. This is my mom. Not Ell's."

Carmilla grabbed the picture off the table and held it, "Laura, I have the same one. Her dad gave it to me when she was in the hospital." Her voice was unsteady.

"Then why did my dad say her name was Mircalla?"

"Because that's my birth name. I didn't change it until I turned eighteen." She looked up at the blonde, "This isn't making any sense. Why do you have a picture of Ell and her mother in your room?"

• • •

Laura was sitting on the steps, Carmilla standing at the top, unseen, when her father opened the door.  He looked up and smiled, "Laur, honey, I'm so happy to see you." He walked towards her and she stood up. "I've missed you."

She didn't return the hug he gave her.

"Laura, sweetie, what's wrong?"

"How long have you been lying to me?"

"Lying? Laura I would never lie to you. Please, tell me what's wrong." Laura turned around and nodded for Carmilla to walk down the steps so her dad could see the brunette.

Carmilla slowly started down the steps, not taking her eyes off of Laura. When she reached the bottom she turned and looked at Laura's father.

"Mircalla?"

Carmilla stood there, not sure if she was surprised or not, "Jack?"

• • •

"How are you here?" Mr. Hollis stared at his daughter's girlfriend for a good few minutes before speaking. "I thought I would never see you again."

"I didn't think I would see you again either after you took Ell away from me." Carmilla stood with her arms crossed in front of her, leaning back against Laura, whose hands were running up and down the taller girl's arms.

"Dad... what's going on? Why do you know each other and why do Ell and I have the same parents?" Laura asked, scared to know the answer.

"Maybe we should sit down. This could be a bit... complicated." The group moved to the living room and sat down, Mr. Hollis in the armchair while Carmilla and Laura sat down next to each other on the couch.

Carmilla looked at her girlfriend's father, "Jack... is Laura..." she trailed off, unsure how to ask the question.

Mr. Hollis sighed, "Laura, if you haven't guessed by now, your birth name isn't Laura."

Laura grabbed Carmilla's hand, intertwining their fingers, "What... what is it?"

"Ell." The answer was somehow both shocking and not at the same time. Carmilla looked between Laura and her father, waiting to see what Laura would say. Time seemed to drag on before Laura finally stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. The brunette got up to follow her.

"Laura, babe, you okay?" She slowly moved closer to the blonde.

"I just... I don't know what to say. He's been lying to me this whole time. A–and why? It just... doesn't make sense." Laura reached a hand out, inviting Carmilla to wrap the smaller girl in her arms.

• • •

"Laura let me explain." She turned to her father,

"You can explain tomorrow. I just... need some time right now. I'm going to bed." He nodded and watched as Laura walked up the stairs, followed by Carmilla. He sighed and got up, walking into the kitchen to make himself some dinner.

• • •

"Laur?"

"Can you just... hold me? Please?" Laura looked to her girlfriend with pleading eyes. Carmilla gave her a small smile and flopped onto the bed, opening her arms to invite Laura to lay down next to her. The blonde crawled under the blankets and buried her face in her girlfriend's shoulder. Suddenly she picked her head up and stared at the brunette.

"What?"

"If Ell and I have the same parents and apparently the same name... does that mean I'm... your Ell?"

Carmilla nodded slowly, "You catch on quickly don't you?"

The blonde laughed and hit her shoulder lightly, "You love me anyway."

"I do." Carmilla looked into Laura's eyes before leaning in. Laura smiled into the kiss, giggling when the brunette nipped at her bottom lip. She placed a hand on her girlfriend's hip, slowly moving it up her side, under her shirt. She pulled away, laughing quietly at Carmilla's grunt of disapproval, and began trailing kisses down her neck. When her mouth reached the collar of the brunette's shirt she pulled away from her neck to take her shirt off, stopping when she looked down at the, now shirtless, brunette.

"What is it, cupcake?"

"If I'm Ell... our first time wasn't..." She trailed off.

"Seriously? Right now? It's already happened. And you don't remember anyway. Now please, continue kissing me." Carmilla pulled Laura down to her, kissing her roughly.

• • •

"Alright, dad. Tell me what's going on." Laura was pacing in the living room, ignoring Carmilla's attempts to get her to sit down.

"I– I can't really tell you. Not everything at least." He sighed, not looking at either girl.

"Then start with the accident. What actually happened?" Carmilla was still trying to get Laura to sit.

"We were going to dinner, I'm sure you remember Mir–Carmilla, my wife had just got a promotion, we were going to celebrate. I was driving, Laura, you were in the back seat on my side." He glanced up at Laura but quickly looked away when he saw she was glaring at him. "It wasn't... a guy with failing brakes."

"Why did you lie? About the accident of all things?" Laura had sat down, allowing the brunette to wrap her arms around her waist.

"I... Laura..." He sighed and looked away, "We're in the witness protection program."

Laura shot off the couch, "We're what?"

"Laura, cupcake, calm down. Sit, please." Carmilla pulled on Laura's wrist.

The blonde groaned, "Fine." She flopped onto the couch next to her girlfriend.

"Laura... I can't tell you exactly why we are. All I can tell you is that the man who crashed into us was trying to kill me, and when you woke up and didn't remember anything I knew the best way to keep you safe was to assume new identities and live different lives." He turned to the brunette, "I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you. I wanted to tell you, believe me, but I couldn't."

• • •

Laura followed Carmilla into their hotel room. They both looked at each other and sighed before throwing their suitcases on the floor and laying down, exhausted, on the bed. "So..." Laura turned her head and looked at the brunette, "What'cha wanna do?"

The taller girl shrugged, rolling over to face the blonde, "I would say you, but I'm too tired."

Laura laughed and rolled to face away from her girlfriend, "Let's take a nap then, I'm tired."

"Sounds like a plan." Carmilla wrapped an arm around Laura's waist and pulled her against her front. After a few minutes Laura rolled over.

"I can't sleep."

The brunette smiled at her, "Me neither." She started tracing patterns on the skin of Laura's hipbone where her shirt had ridden up. "You know... I think it's kind of cool that you and Ell are the same person." She looked into her eyes, "I got to fall in love with you for a second time. We got to have all of our firsts all over again."

Laura smiled, "I may not remember the first time we fell in love. But I remember this time, and I find it hard to believe that true love doesn't exist when somehow, we found each other again, after all these years, and we fell in love without even knowing we had." She leaned in and kissed her girlfriend's cheek. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

• • •

"Wait are you serious?" LaFontaine shook their head, "So... Laura is actually your girlfriend from when you were still in high school?"

"Yeah. I was a little surprised, but after I started thinking about it I realized that they are pretty similar. When I first walked into the dorm room I thought she was Ell but then she said her name was Laura and I was disappointed."

LaFontaine looked at the ground for a minute, "Do you think, if you had known from the beginning, you would have fallen in love with her before even getting to know her?"

Carmilla thought for a moment before turning and looking at the redhead, "Honestly I don't know. All I know is that, in the very beginning, I liked her because she looked like Ell. But after I started to get to know her, I liked her for her. I may have had a crush on her because of her looks, but I fell for her personality." She looked away and smiled, "Laura is a huge nerd, it's adorable, but Ell wasn't. Laura lives on Perry's brownies and grape soda. Ell was a health nut. They may be the same person, but to me, Laura is Laura. She isn't Ell."

LaFontaine stared at her for a few seconds, "If that girl doesn't marry you, I'm slapping her into next week. No, actually, next year."

Carmilla looked up at them, "So, you think she'll say yes?"

The redhead looked at her incredulously, "If you say exactly what you just said to me, there's no way she can say no. When are you asking anyway?"

The brunette smiled and pulled a box out of her pocket, "I was planning, if you don't mind me stealing her away, to ask during the reception. The place you guys chose has a lake a few minutes walk away from the building and it's so nice and–"

"You don't need to ramble, you can go. Me and Perr won't mind."

• • •

"Hey, cupcake, can I steal you for a few?"

Laura turned around and faced her girlfriend, "Carm, it's their wedding. I know you love the look of me in this dress but can't it wait?"

"Laur, It's not about your dress. I feel a little... off. I'd like to take a walk with you." Laura smiled and nodded, taking the brunette's hand and following her outside. She intertwined their fingers and leaned her head against the taller girl's shoulder, smiling to herself as they walked down the cobblestone path.

"So, Laur, I've been thinking... Ever since that conversation with your dad, I realized that, like you said, maybe true love does exist. And if it does, I truly believe that you are my true love. There isn't anybody on this earth I could possibly love more than you. I loved Ell, I did, but I love you more. And I know that seems like a stupid thing to say since you are Ell, but you aren't. You and her are so different to me that I can't picture you as the same person.

I fell for you, Laura, and I'm not doing this because I found out who you are, I'm doing this because I feel like I'm ready to move forward, I'm ready to leave Ell behind me." Laura been watching Carmilla's face since she started talking, and when the brunette looked up at her, she could see the love she held for Laura in her eyes. She smiled at the taller girl and let out a small gasp when she knelt on one knee in front of her.

"Carm..."

"I'm ready to take the next step in our relationship. Laura Hollis, will you mar–" She was cut off as Laura surged forward and kissed her with enough force to drive both of them backwards, Carmilla landing on her back with Laura on top of her.

"Yes."


End file.
